Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Accountant's Ledger: Entry 3

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The pink-haired Chiss sat back in a chair, arms crossed, a cold gaze set on the camera. Her lips slowly curl into a cruel smile as she leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. There's a coldness to her voice as she speak, despite the smile, “'Ice queen'.” Her fingers slowly began to drum against her leg, the smile remaining, “'Ice queen'. You know what? I like that. Good description. So, miss 'I Could Break You in Half'. You wanna know why I'm such an 'Ice Queen'? I have to be.”

She held up a single, gloved finger, the smile fading, “One. I kill people for a living. Let me repeat myself. I kill people for a living. Do I need to explain that? I commit murder, and get paid to do it. See? Easy to understand.” Daeria narrowed her eyes slightly, the smile returning, a horrible amusement hanging in her voice, “But, I know what you're gonna say. Plenty of people get their money through killing people, and they aren't cold heartless monsters, now are they?

“Oh, but they are. With me, you see somebody who admits to what they are. I mean come on. I'm not exactly subtle about it. I say it all the damn time. I'm a psychopath. I kill people, and I don't feel bad about it. And, to boot, I like thinkin' about how I'd kill most everybody. It's a fun mental workout, try it sometime. And two, I'm a sociopath. I don't give a damn about your dumb social guidelines or any of that crap. It's boring. It's just so boring to have to watch someone try to be polite and all that when they obviously just want to tell you to go kriff yourself. I mean really. And no, I don't say those two things because I 'watch too many holovids', despite what some idiots may think.”

She motioned towards the camera as if she were referring to another person, “But with everyone else? They just go about their day like it's nothing. They're the real monsters. They kill people, they get paid, and then they brag about it. Then they tell stories like it's a tale of glory or something like that. And people don't find that creepy. But when I tell it like it is, I'm weird, and I'm crazy, and I'm just plain mean.”

“So yes, maybe I am some sort of 'ice queen', and I'm perfectly fine with that. 'But why would she want to do this?' you'll ask,” she said, tapping her chin as if pondering the question, before waving it away, “Simple. I'm good at it. I like it, I enjoy it, and I'm good at it. Sure, I had to find that out the hard way, but it was worth it to find it out. I'd probably be dead if I didn't. Do what you gotta do to survive, and it may not look like it, but I still do that. I still do what I have to do to get by. Even if I had enough money to retire on, I wouldn't, because that would drive me insane. So I have to keep doing something, and that's what I have to do to survive. Simple as that. Some people need to kriff, some of us need to kill.”

“From where I'm sitting, I like to think I've got things pretty well figured out.” She held up two fingers, “There's two truths to life. We're born, and we die. Everything else in between's fair game. But if you're alive, you've been born, and you're sure as hell gonna die. Whether that's in your sleep of old age, or from some poisoned drink, or some big showdown on a crowded street. You're gonna die. I've figured that out, and I quit caring. When it happens to me, I'm gonna be perfectly fine with it, because I'm certainly due for some death. That's a debt we all owe, and that's a debt we'll sure as hell all pay. Tell me you're wrong all you want, but when the reaper comes knockin' on your door, well.” She shrugged, grinning, “Guess we'll know who was right then, huh?”

“And all that stuff that's in the middle of all that? The romance, the closeness, the friends, the family, the stuff like that? They come, and they go. Just like you. So while all of you people wanna kriff, and wanna kiss, and wanna stand around complaining or making wedding plans or doing all of that stuff? You're welcome to. I'll complain, and moan, but you're more than welcome to. 'Cause that's how you wanna spend your time. But as for me, I've gotta kill for the sake of living. That's how I work, and that's how I am.”

“Also, if somebody hasn't said in some ancient saying or something that by the time you're talking to yourself alone in an empty ship that you've named means you're crazy, I'll say it right now. I've got to be kriffing nuts. Nobody'll ever see this. And if you do see it, it's 'cause I let you, 'cause anybody who tries to get a hold of my files?” she made a blaster with her hand, pointing it towards the camera, “We'll be seeing each other soon. On that topic, and to any other psychopaths and sociopaths who may want to break into this line of work, I'd suggest having other skills. There's a good chance you might suck at this, and it's best to have something to fall back on. I slice, and deliver crap. Messages. Mail. Packages. Been doing a lot of that lately. Boring as hell. Not recommended, but you've got to do what you've got to do.”

She rested back in the chair, resting her hands behind her head, “Think that's all I've got to say on that. Lot about me. Does that make these self-centered? I guess that's kind of the point, ain't it. Is what it is, I guess.”

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