File selected: Video Log 1. Subject: Fly Me Off the Moon.
The video feed cuts in, fuzzy at first, before growing clearer. It’s still obviously not the best of cameras. At first the view is simply of a chair pressed against the back wall of what appears to be an older looking ship. Some may recognize it as a D5-Mantis. This changes when a chiss enters the frame, taking the seat, and resting back in it. She is covered in armor which seems to be a mixture of metal and cloth, with the clothing hanging down slightly to about the back of her knees. Her head is the only part of her not covered in metal. Her features appear to be that commonly associated with chiss. Blue skin, red eyes. Her hair is dyed pink.
She smirked offering the camera a small wave, “Hey there. Was kinda bored, sitting on this moon and all. Figured I’d get myself something to do. I’ve heard everybody’s doing these, so hell. Why not? Not that anybody’ll see it. ‘Less I end up dead, and somebody’s going through my crap.” She tapped her chin, smirking wider, “Actually, I take it back. You won’t be able to go through my crap. It’ll be gone.”
“Quick introductions,” she said, motioning first to herself, “Serd’aeri’asai, if ya want my maiden name, Daeria if you wanna pull the core name outta that. Daeria Malcolm for my full name now. Got married after a bad night of drinking. Or a good night, I guess depending on who you are. Maybe you’ve heard that from my husband or somethin’. I really don’t give a damn. Bad exposition done.” She tapped the metal wall behind her, “This here’s Harbinger. Harbinger’s a D5-Mantis. Say hello, Harbinger.” No voice followed, and she simply grinned, “What? Were you expecting it to talk? It’s a kriffin’ ship. Freaks.”
“So, guess maybe you’ll want a little about me?” She leaned back, staring up at the ceiling, “Let’s see. I enjoy long walks to my target, quiet night time assaults on guarded compounds, and hunting. People, that is. Not a kriffing animal. That’s freaking boring if you ask me. And yeah yeah, I’m somebody would tell me that animals can be a challenge and blah blah blah. I don’t really care. That’s what I think. I’ll stick with what I think. I’m an accountant, you’d probably call it a bounty hunter, but accountant sounds nicer, so screw you. Not the best at my job, but pretty damn good at it if I can say so myself.”
“What have I been up to. Let’s see. Been stuck on the freaking moon, but now that I’m done with my job here,” she idly picked up a blaster from her belt, looking it over, “Probably be leaving soon. And as a note to self, log pistol number…” She trailed off, squinting, “What’re we up to. One three seven? Eight? Something along those lines. I’m sure some people’ll be happy to see me gone. I swear, I see one more military idiot who gets all uppity with me, so help him…” She grinned at the camera again, “Just my luck, I guess. First I have to deal with General Greenhorn, who’s got some stick shoved so far up his ass you could probably use him as a puppet. Hell, had to work with him once. Heaven forbid he crack a smile and have some kriffing fun, right?” She laughed, “Like I don’t know how big of an ass I am. I do, and trust me Greenhorn, you ain’t exactly perfect either.” She waved at the camera, “Thanks Xul, for settin’ me up on that little play date. I hated your guts that entire day, and I’m sure as hell he did too. ‘Least I suckered him into payin’ me, though.”
“There’s one here, who I swear to something, I just wanna take his dumb red hat, and shove it over his face, hold my hand over his nose and mouth, use the other one to just squeeze his throat,” she began to mime her actions as if she were holding a struggling person, “And just hold, and wait.” She stopped, going back to her relaxed position, “But that isn’t gonna happen. ‘Least not yet. He gets a mark put on his head, oh I tell you. He’s dead. Maybe shock his ass and watch him shake. One of ‘em punched me. That was a surprise. Didn’t think he’d have it in him. Guess he’s having marital issues. He can get in line on that train. You wanna talk ‘bout not seein’ your spouse, buddy, try four freakin’ years. But I guess you want to see ‘er. I just don’t get that, but hey. Whatever.”
“Not that the Sith are any better, all ‘I’m better than you and so broody and scary’! Like I care, buddy. One of these days I’m sure I’ll tick one of them off too. Guess we’ll see. You can’t ever say I’m lying, though. I just call it as I see it. Maybe misinformed, but sure as hell not lying.”
She sighed, “So where from here. Guess I could stick around to see what comes up. Something’s going on, I guess. People are making a big deal over a bunch of stuff I don’t know about. Folks being snatched by people or something. Might get in on that, maybe it’ll pay. If it doesn’t pay well enough, I can turn it into something that will, I’m sure. People love that good old classic double agent story don’t they?” She shook her head, “Or not. Like I need to be getting involved in crap like that. Stay low, stick to the work, get paid, repeat. It’s worked thus far.”
“Not that I’ll have to worry about running out of work any time soon. There’s still a lot of people left in this galaxy. Somebody is gonna want somebody dead.”
The chiss stands, walking out of the frame which shuts off quicker than it took for it to come on.
Exiting video playback.